Letters with Hani

12/31/23 11:59AM

Dear Caitlin and Devin,

Fourteen months ago, I left Gaza, and I thought I’m leaving Gaza forever. Fourteen months were enough for me to realize that no one will leave this city. A city that had been besieged for sixteen years, I discovered that it would follow me and besiege me forever. Just as Gaza is the city of life and love, it is the city of death. The possibilities of life are the same as the possibilities of death. It can be said that Gaza is an exceptional city, a unique and isolated small piece of this large planet. I can say this while I’m living with the feeling that the vast majority have abandoned this city.

You could abandon this city if you simply said that it is a distant city, carrying different stories, and the humans there are not like us. You can only remain silent and neutral. After many years, when the city was under threat, I received a message from Devin, a message that made me ensure my feelings that this city is exceptional and does not leave anyone. I am writing this letter to tell you that sometimes language is unable to describe things. How do I express my thanks and gratitude to you and Devin? I felt the kindness and power of what you shared with people, from people’s responses, I would really like to read what you have shared. What is happening in Gaza is indescribable. I hope to meet the family and that this death will come to an end soon. Thank you and thank to all those who interacted with the campaign.

1/1/2024 10:29AM

Hani, I am happy to be connecting with you and wishing you a new year that brings more peace, security and joy. Amidst everything, I am moved by the beauty of your written words. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I hope with all of my heart that you will be reunited with your family. I am sure the process is complex and challenging and requires more than money. I am praying that resources and support for your body, mind and spirit keep coming and holding you up ~ protecting all of you from harm. If you are able to share, what is happening with your family? Will any of them be able to come to Belgium with you? What is your life like in Belgium? I know it takes time and energy to answer my questions, so please do not feel it is necessary. Some days, it is enough just to know you’re alive. Sending blessings, Caitlin Rose

1/1/2024 12:29AM

Dear Caitlin, of course you can share and below are answers to your questions

Perhaps I would not be fair if I tried to describe what is really happening with the family in Gaza. I have lived through the war many times before. But I did not leave my home. The family members left their homes, and are now living in a small tent, as the three houses they owned were destroyed, and now they are in the south, bombs still falling around them. The problem in war is not death. This is for those who live the war. The real problem is related to how you live the war, with your fear and with the fear of your children and family around you.

This war also seems different from its counterparts, in light of the lack of food, drink and medicine. My brother told me during our last conversation that four out of six children are sick. My mother is afraid as small children are. Of course, every family member has his own way of expressing fear, but my mother quickly collapses, and this is what makes me sad the most about war. For us here in Belgium, all we want is for the family members to stay alive, nothing more, we hope to meet them. In previous times, before the war, we did not stop making comparisons between our lives here and our previous lives in Gaza. Now we do not stop comparing all our simple and ordinary daily actions to what happens to them, if we eat food, if we change our clothes, if we go out into the street, If our children laugh or play, or if our daughter goes to school.

The war there completely killed life, destroyed everything, and all we wish for them and for us is survival. The only hope before anything else is that we can arrange their travel to Egypt. We have one land port with Egypt, which is the only point to contact with the world, and it is almost closed. Some people pay huge amounts of money to get out. If we can arrange that money we might be able to get them out. Sorry for the long post but that's how it is, and it doesn't describe what it means to live through war.

Dear Caitlin, words of thanks isn't enough. its appreciated and means more than you believe. thank you. if you need anything I'm here

Sat March 9 6:29 AM

Dear Hani, thank you for sharing your book with me and I am sorry for not replying to that message. How long have you been writing books? I am so sorry to hear your family is suffering. I will share the link to your GoFund me again and continue holding hope for them. I understand the total you’re estimating is $60,000. How many family members will this get out of Gaza?

Sat March 9 6:48 AM

Hello, we have 9 adults and 6 children

The first book was in 2011

Each adult cost 9k. Each children cost 2.5 K

Sat March 9 1:35 PM

Got it. Is there anything else you’d like me to share? I’ll be sending an update with our correspondence to my email list.

Sat March 9 1:35 PM

Actually I’m living with a dream that they can leave soon. That’s it

Sat March 9 3:26 PM

🙏🏽 It will take me a few days to get the message out. Sending my energy to support your dream and power to get them to safety.

Sun March 10 1:38 AM

Thank you Caitlin

Fri March 15 2:54 PM

Hi Hani, sending a note to say that I will reshare the gofund me link to help your family with my newsletter list this weekend. I also want to acknowledge that it must be extremely frustrating that people around the world don’t show more urgency and outrage about what is happening in Gaza. I can only speak for myself, but I am struggling to fully face how horrible it has been and still is. When I face it, I feel so much guilt and confusion about the life I live. How can I go on with my mundane concerns and daily activities when so much suffering is continuing elsewhere? And yet I do go on with my life and the guilt and shame bubble up as soon as I remember what is happening. I am not sharing this with you for sympathy. I just want to take responsibility for myself and recognize that you and your family are under immense stress. I am still hoping for all of you that miracles, relief, mercy and healing are in the present and future.

Fri March 15 3:04 PM

Dear Caitlin, plz don’t feel guilty, it’s not easy of course.

The thing, what is happening now happened before, Many times ( in a smaller scale)

The problem is that we consider it as a part of our normal life ( I mean we the Palestinian) we developed mechanisms to live with it.

The bright side today, that we have more people talking and taking more actions about it.

To be honest I don’t have the feeling that a change is going to come soon

I feel that more worse things are going to happen in the short term.

But I’m a bit confident that a good change going to come in the long term

But yes it’s normal that you are confused

But don’t feel guilty